Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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