loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
