Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
