just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
