why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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