You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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