like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
