Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize