yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
