I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
