belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
