didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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