Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
