he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
