So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
