He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
