how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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