I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
