so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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