If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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