I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
