put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
