i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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