I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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