Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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