and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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