I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
