If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
