I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
