I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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