I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
