how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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