tell your sister to shave her snatch
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
