You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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