I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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