why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
