between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
