Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
