you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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