You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
