Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
