Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
