he puts the penis in happiness.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize