I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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