You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
