Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
