TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
