Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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