Whod you bang
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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