Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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