If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
