Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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