Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
