What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
