YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize