no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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