I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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