Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize