Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
